#WeighInWednesday: Down 5 pounds from last week!

The nausea is not great. And the vomiting is even worse. And the breaking up with carbs is certainly the ABSOLUTE WORST.

But…

I am proud to say I am down 5 pounds from last week and am at the lowest weight I have been in years! I am down 27 pounds from this time last year! While all of the things I have been going through have been very tough, I have found that writing more frequently to YOU has made me stronger and more accountable.

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As I type this, I realize I was so hungry today I forgot to take a pic of my low carb lunch today for Instagram – but I have been posting a lot more of what I have been eating which has made me even more accountable.

I am sure you can agree…seeing results from working hard is the absolute best feeling. It keeps you motivated and helps you believe again in what you are doing. For me, I know that a drop on the scale means wonderful things for all my other levels which will make my Endocrinologist appointment next month that much more successful. This has been one hard journey with no end in sight, but as they say:

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Here is what I did well this week:

  • Food journaling – of all the things that have worked for staying low carb, the food journal has by far helped me have the most success. It has really helped me keep track of how I am doing and has really translated into results.
  • Delicious breakfast found – Since I have not been eating eggs for personal reasons and I need to stay low carb, I have been really struggling with breakfast options, especially on-the-go breakfast options. I started trying Luna Bars which keep me under my 30g of carbs/meal limit. They are delicious, good for being on-the-go, and low carb. I am pleased to say they help me kick-off my day the way a good breakfast should.
  • Stayed Low Carb, even when it was tough – Of course there were some exceptions with Halloween, but all in all I really watched what I ate and made low carb choices. I have found ways to splurge (like Popcorn or grapes), but splurging in ways that do not completely destroy my carb count for the day.

Here is what I can work on next week:

  • Exercise – a lot of this has to do with the fatigue and nausea I have had, but exercise just has not been happening. I have been trying to walk more around work (which is saying a lot – it is a big campus), but there is certainly room for improvement
  • Booze – While I have cut drinking out during the week for the most part, I really want to cut back on weekends too. As I get older, I have noticed many of my friends are transitioning from our binge drinking 20s to enjoy a nice glass of wine 30s. And there is nothing wrong with that. We are going to a wedding this weekend, so it will be interesting to see if I can keep this goal…but I will try!
  • Manage emotions – I had a bit of a breakdown at work this week…my first since starting this new job 6 months ago. This team is all about sharing frustrations, but I have always been more poker faced in the workplace. I think like most things, there is a happy medium…which I will be working hard to achieve. Like all workplaces, negativity can snowball very quickly, so it is important to me I don’t feed into any negativity around me and continue to identify myself as a positive person…no matter what.

So here is to positivity…and hard work…and being a bad @$$. Cheers to that.

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#WeighInWednesday: Rollercoaster Ride

giphyThis last week has been a roller coaster…and not in the fun way. I have been having the hardest time getting into my groove with medication and diet. Maybe it is the fact there are carbs EVERYWHERE at work. Maybe it is the fact Halloween candy is everywhere. Maybe I am feeling extra tired. So many possibilities…all of which lead to a pretty steady relationship with carbs lately. I have had days that have been SO good with what I eat and remembering my medicine. Then there are the days when on my drive into work I realize I forgot my meds. Or I decide I need to eat that Reese’s Peanut Butter cup. And the cracker snack pack. And the bagel. Consistency has definitely not been great for me in the last week.

Despite the roller coaster, I am not up any weight from last week. I am still 4 pounds away from my lowest weight and 22 pounds from my goal weight…but at least I did not gain from last week.

Here is what I did well last week:

  • FOOD JOURNALING – Since I have felt like my carb rendezvous have been quite intense, I have been writing down what I am eating again. I have found food journaling has really helped me get control
  • GOOD CHOICES – I have had a few meals where I have very decisively avoided carbs and chosen something healthier. Even though everyone around me is chowing down on mac and cheese…and fries…and (sigh) you get it.

Here are my opportunities for the coming week:

  • EXERCISE – I still have not found a groove with a workout schedule. I know how important it is…I have nothing more to say except I know I need to be like Nike and JUST DO IT.
  • CONSISTENCY – Most of my life, I have been all about focused bursts of productivity and lulls of…well…not productivity. As a general statement, I need to focus on my consistency – especially with my diet.
  • CHOOSING JOY – I don’t know about you, but in the world of social media, it is so easy to compare. I have been really trying to focus on my blessings and not comparing to others. I am going to work to continually choose joy…and make that choice with a grateful heart.

No matter if you are fighting PCOS, Diabetes, staying on a diet, or just trying to be a functional, productive human…there are ups and downs. It is crucial to understand that and give yourself some breathing room. On this crazy roller coaster, we can learn just as much on the lows if we choose to…so here is to learning and some smooth sailing once I get my groove back.
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BirthMONTH weight gain is a thing…but here is how I am bouncing back

In my family, it is not a birthDAY. It is a birthMonth. Between family in different cities, cob3656cf7a880f148fe32701c852e025fa7fb1088882c59b826ad08b122dae222_1nflicts with work schedules, and the fact that we love a good celebration…festivities absolutely extend over several days, weeks, the month…whatever.

As we all know, a good celebration calls for a good carb or ten. Carbs and I definitely got back together and while I want to say I regret it, it was a glorious rendezvous. Sushi, pasta, sangria, cupcakes, cookies, fried chicken, french fries, bread…all of it. So. Good.

But then there is the whole consequence thing which is this case is 5 pounds I gained back. While this is less than stellar, I am surprisingly feeling OK about it.

Here is why I am OK with the weight gain during my birthMONTH and what I plan to do to get back on track.

My birthday was amazing. Maybe the best ever.

IMG_2569On my actual birthday, I got to go on a work day trip and was surprised with birthday treats during an important meeting. My husband spoiled me with my favorite restaurant, champagne, and a bag I have had my eye on. My birthday party was at a beautiful outdoor venue and I was surrounded by amazing friends including one of my best friends who came all the way from
Alaska to surprise me. Some of my friends I haven’t seen in a while told me how great I look from my 20 pound weight loss. Basically, I had a lot of reasons to smile. I looked great, I felt great, and really was counting my blessings for the progress I have made and the wonderful people I have in my life.

Now while that sounds all rosy and wonderful and I have a good snapshot I shared, the truth is that I was eating carbs like it was the zombie apocalypse. I really did not discriminate with any carbs and even a week after my actual birthday, I was still doing the same thing.

The truth of the matter is, it is time to get back on track. They say the first step is admitting the problem, and the problem is carbs. It is definitely time for us to breakup again.

Here is my plan to get back on track:

Since our work cafeteria is closed, we have food trucks coming to our campus every day. You know…pizza, tacos, tater tots, grilled cheese. It is basically as if carbs was sending me 2 dozen roses everyday and begging me to get back together. But this cannot be.

Planning ahead seems to be the best way to battle carbs. We will be out of town this weekend, so meal planning will be more challenging. But we will find a way! My husband has also gained a lot of weight…mostly because when my appetite was down from the meds he was eating what I wasn’t and as a true partner, he fully indulged in my birthmonth as well.

To help us both, we have been good about getting in our 20 minute exercise prescribed by the doc each night with evening walks. It has been good for our relationship and great for our health.

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I also just started a food journal today to really count my carbs to keep me aligned with my 110g/day goals. I have food journaled before and I have found it really helps with accountability. Not only do I plan to keep track of the number of carbs I eat, but I also plan to keep track of taking my meds. I have found as things get busier and busier, I have been worse about taking the meds I need to survive. I figure that if I take the time out of the day to commit to this, it will make me pay more attention and not be swayed by the delicious smell of food trucks or office bagels.

I also am planning to write more! I kept making excuses, but truthfully, sharing my journey with you all made me more accountable and ultimately healthier. I also sincerely hope this helps others in similar situations or just looking to be healthier get to their goals.

Here’s to a fresh start. Again.

Weigh-in Wednesday: Down 24 Pounds!

imagesIt is pretty amazing how much progress I have made…since last August, I am down 24 pounds and all of my levels were looking great at my last doctor appointment!

With all the drama and pain this has been to go through, I can’t begin to tell you how pleased I am to see results like these.

To be honest, the results do confuse me a little bit…carbs and I have TOTALLY been back together. In a big way. I do still have some nausea from my meds and don’t quite feel like myself, so I have been eating lots of carbs. I will admit I try to eat carbs that are better than others (like Rye instead of white bread), but I have had carbs with every meal. I was honestly shocked that I didn’t weigh more considering the 4th of July holiday. It seems so crazy to me that I have virtually been eating what I want (including half of a morning donut this morning) and losing weight. And now I am officially one of those jerks I used to hate that could eat what they want and not gain weight. It has been hard – my typical fish and veggie choice has sounded TERRIBLE and salads seem to make me sicker than carbs. So carbs it has been and likely will continue to be.

With this weird carb thing going on, here are my successes from the week and goals for next week:

Successes:

  • Been under control making some healthy decisions, especially with carb heavy meals (we even had brown rice pasta for our mac and cheese on the 4th of July!)
  • Quotes-on-success-List-of-top-35-success-quotes-20I have tried to get exercise in and did a 45 minute hike on the 4th with my husband and dogs. I have also been choosing the cafeteria that is farther from my office to get in a little more walking.
  • I was better about taking my meds this week. There were a couple of days I was really struggling, but I feel like I am getting a better groove.
  • I have been better about worrying less and thinking more positively. Sure, I wish there some things that were different in my life…but I am thankful for the things I do have that I have worked hard for.

Opportunities:

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  • Exercise has not been hitting my goal of 20 minutes a day. I really need to get up and get going.
  • I will be trying to re-introduce healthier eating into my life. Carbs and I just can’t stay together if I want to keep seeing the results I have been having.
  • Be consistent with my meds. The Endocrinologist said almost everything is back to normal…except that I am still ovulating every 2-3 weeks and losing some of my hair. He increased my Metformin, so hopefully within the next 3 months everything will be back on track. That being said, in the words of Fat Amy, “You should really listen to my doctor.”

So that’s that! Let’s see how I do…starting tomorrow? Definitely getting some pizza for dinner. Because. PIZZA.

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Night before blood work: Time for results

It’s 9pm here is California and I am fasting. Isn’t it funny that whenever you can’t have something, you want it? Basically, this is how I feel right now:

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Since I have last posted, I have made major progress as I approach my Endocrinologist appointment on Monday. I am the lowest weight I have been in years and down 15 pounds from my last Endocrinologist appointment which gives me hope that I am winning the battle against PCOS and Pre-Diabetes. Monday is the day we will find if medication has been working.
3 months ago, my Endocrinologist was concerned that my levels were not where they should be and I needed to increase my medication. After tripling my dosage for Metformin, doubling the dosage for Spironolactone, and putting me on a weekly injection of Tanzeum…I have had a rough 3 months.

With all this medication, I have been vomiting 1-5 times a week for the last 3 months. It was bad. Just starting a new job, I was terrified my new coworkers would think I was pregnant or had an eating disorder. I was sick often at work, on planes, on the side of the road…everywhere. Nausea had taken over my week and I was exhausted. On top of that, I went from not ovulating at all to ovulating…EVERY 2 WEEKS.

Things seem to have evened out…last week was my first week I wasn’t sick! I only vomited once and I believe it was due to working a red carpet event and being in the very hot California sun for hours. Wednesdays are my injectable day and I will say I am less afraid going into the next few days with the hope the side effects really have improved.

While my fears for side effects have subsided, I find myself terrified for the blood work tomorrow for 2 reasons:

1.) I still hate needles. Injecting myself once a week hasn’t improved the fear…so starting the day with blood work is going to make it tough to sleep tonight.

2.) I am really worried about what will happen on Monday. While I see weight improvement which I know should indicate border change, I know my food intake has not been great. When you feel sick all the time, all you want is carbs. As a mostly pescetarian, I have been shocked to find that fish has disgusted me in the last few months. All my normal routines and the way I feel about myself have been off. While that has been tough, I am more afraid of what happens if I get bad news Monday.

So what does one do? One remembers…

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Even though I was scared how it would make me feel, I ate salmon today for lunch. And it was delicious.

Even though I hate mornings and don’t want blood work taken, I made an 8:15am appointment. And I will be there.

Even though I am terrified of the results I will have Monday, I will have faith.

And even though carbs and I are breaking up, I had a handful of miniature candy bars tonight. Because I gave myself a shot. Because it was before fasting time began for my blood work. Because I wanted to. Although I know I shouldn’t, I know rewards are important and no one is perfect. But then I remember this:

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I suppose we all have room for improvement.

More to come on how the blood work goes and what I learn on Monday.

Stay happy, stay healthy.

#WeighInWednesday: Down 3 pounds

Even though it has been pretty rough dealing with the nausea and vomiting caused by my medication, I am proud to say I am down 3 pounds this week! I am down 8 pounds in the past month since last visiting my Endocrinologist and being focused on doing all I can to reduce the amount of medication I am needing to take.

Things I did well this week:

  • Since dealing with the medication side effects, I have been drinking significantly less. Not only has this made me feel better, but I believe it is a big contributor to the weight loss
  • It has been a goal to get back on track with exercising and I am proud to say I got in 4 workouts in the past week – mostly walks or hikes with the dogs. It has been very peaceful to be outdoors and has also been a great workout
  • Medication has been a challenge for me because quite frankly, I get tired of 8 pills a day and 1 shot per week. Before my last appointment, I had decided to skip doses because I was simply exhausted from taking so much medicine. This past week, no matter how tired I was, I stuck to my medication. It has not been fun, but I know how important it is. My doctor put it into pretty hard to ignore terms for me…he said, “Either don’t take your medication and live to your 50th birthday, or take your medication and live to your 90th birthday.” I choose 90, thank you.
  • Even though I vomited nearly every day, I stayed active and positive. I understand the nausea and vomiting are side effects that I need to deal with for now, but I have refused to let them stifle my time or activities with friends. There have been some really hard days where it was clear to those around me I wasn’t feeling great, but I am proud of myself for getting up and getting out instead of wallowing in bed.

Opportunities for improvement:

  • Since dealing with being sick, I have been downing saltine crackers like it was my job. A lot of days, this is all my body can take after the medication along with Sprite (at least it is Sprite Zero with less sugar). I do not eat much meat, but my typical fish that I would order to stay low carb has not been appetizing to me at all. With meat not really being an option, I have eaten more carbs than I should like Pad Thai noodles, corn tortillas, or egg rolls. I definitely want to be patient with myself, especially since weight is still coming off…I just know these carbs are not the best for me and make it hard to stick to 110g of carbs/day that my doctor prescribed.

Goals for next week:

  • Next week, I start a new job! I am very exciting for this opportunity…it really is a dream come true for me. While at the new job, I want to be sure to get up and workout…starting this new chapter the right way with the 20 minutes of exercise my doctor prescribed.
  • Stay positive – I tend to worry about things I should not and as I start this new role, I want to be as positive and upbeat as possible. No matter how I feel or what may creep into my mind, I will be confident and positive.
  • Stay on track with my 110g of carbs a day goal. This will be hard because I am going to a music festival this weekend, but I will definitely try. The same goes for my medication.

How did you do this weigh-in Wednesday?

PCOS and IR: Not an easy lifestyle

SPOILER ALERT: This post contains the whole truth and nothing but the truth on how the last week and a half have gone.

Having PCOS and Insulin Resistance is hard. As in VERY hard. The last couple of months I have tried to be positive. I have followed the rules the best I could. I try to look on the bright side and take each day with a new level of faith. But it is hard and I have not been doing well.

Sticking to 110g of carbs a day is pretty hard. Especially when you work in an office where there are free carbs around you everywhere and cafeteria options that are hard to ignore in all their carb filled glory. It is hard to ignore the free bread or tortilla chips on a table when you go out to eat and your friends are enjoying the carby deliciousness. It is hard to not take the easy route with food…so many carb filled options are typically the easiest to get when you are in a rush.

And the ovulation. Every 10-14 days. I mean…come on. The cramps, nausea, and exhaustion have been out of control causing me to crave even more of what I shouldn’t eat.

If all this isn’t enough, I am in a new role at work that is BRAND new to me. While it is exciting to learn something new every day, it is also exhausting. I find myself more insecure than I have been in a long time wondering if what I am doing is right. I am working so hard to please everyone and exceed expectations. All while fighting Insulin Resistance and PCOS.

I wish it would all just go away and I can do what I have done in the past…if one diet doesn’t work, choose another one. But that is no longer an option. Insulin Resistance and PCOS are real which no way around them.

So if I can’t go around these challenges…I need to keep fighting and find a way to go THROUGH the challenges. While the last couple weeks have been so hard, I know I am a fighter and I know I will get healthier. Now time to go meet a friend for dinner and ignore the free bread…

Thursday progress: Staying steady

While Thursday morning weigh-ins are typically most joyful when I am down from the last week, I must say I am almost equally pleased that I did not gain any weight from last week’s weigh-in. Valentine’s weekend was filled with a crazy about of carbs and cocktails which ended up snowballing into over carb indulgence for a majority of the week. Last night was also a very late work night, so I ended up not having dinner until almost 9pm. In the past late dinners typically mean a heavier weigh-in.

All that being said, the more I read and hear from many of your stories about PCOS and IR it is clear to me that I need to be patient with myself. The cravings, exhaustion, and pain are all very real things that I believe I (and many of you) are very strong to battle. While I really just want to stay in bed all day with my dogs while cradling a baguette topped with pasta and french fries, I know that I am strong enough to get up each day and fight. Will all battles be won? No. But I am I fighting? Heck yeah.

SUCCESSES THIS WEEK:

  • While I gave into carbs more than I should this week, I also was really strong and turning down incredibly accessible carbs. I don’t know about you, but my office has free carbs. Like all the time. Yesterday I went to get more tea and what did I find? Catering size platters of chow mein. And rice. I mean… Also, while my husband enjoyed a turkey club with waffle fries last night, although I was exhausted and wanted the same, I indulged in grape leaves (a little rice) and had a curry chicken salad for dinner. I call that a win.
  • As a person who struggles with mornings and is typically late if anything is earlier than noon, I was proud of myself that I was EARLY for an 8:30am meeting this morning. I got up with enough time to get myself together and rock my presentation. If I can do it for my company, I should be able to do it for myself with morning workouts. While I truly hate waking up, it does make me feel more prepared for the day when I get an early start. This morning definitely motivated me to get up tomorrow morning (especially since it is a later start) and get my 20 minutes of exercise in.

OPPORTUNITIES FOR NEXT WEEK:

  • Carbs and I are not going to be involved next week. We just aren’t. I really want to commit to the next week between my food, medicine, and exercise to really see the great results I get when I do those things. If my weight stays the same, I am going to need a moderate restraining mechanism to keep me from all the carbs I missed and want to eat out of frustration of no progress…but we will cross that bridge when we get there.
  • Since my weeks for progress start on Fridays, I will plan to wake up tomorrow morning and get those 20 minutes of exercise in. I CAN DO IT.

How did you do this week?

Insulin Resistance: Best foods for IR

It seems to me that there are a whole lot of articles out there about what you should NOT eat if you have PCOS or IR. Here are some great things to think about from LiveStrong of what you CAN eat if you are like me with PCOS/IR.

Fruits and Vegetables

The Best Foods for Insulin Resistance

Fruits and vegetables are natural sources of vitamins and minerals, including antioxidants which help the body combat and prevent disease. They also contain fiber, which is recommended for healthy weight management and improved digestive health. A diet rich in fruits and vegetables can be a helpful means toward reducing one’s risk for insulin resistance. Choose a variety of colorful, fresh fruits and vegetables on a regular, ongoing basis for the best potential results. Frozen or dried fruits and vegetables are a valuable secondary option and can be kept on hand for long periods of time and contain few artificial ingredients or preservatives.

Monounsaturated Fats

The Best Foods for Insulin Resistance
Monounsaturated fats, or plant-based fats found in olive oil, canola oil, peanut oil, sunflower oil, avocados, peanut butter, many nuts and seeds, are healthy substitutes for saturated or trans fats–fats associated with increased risk for heart disease. According to research published in the journal of the American Diabetes Association in 2007, intake of monounsaturated fats is linked with decreased fat distribution in those who are insulin resistant. Replace saturated fats, such as butter, whole milk, cream and deep-fried foods with healthier fat alternatives. Olive and canola oil are positive alternatives to butter. Grilled, baked and steamed dishes are preferred over deep-fried foods for those with insulin resistance. Since fat is dense in calories, keep portions sizes modest for best benefits.

Whole Grains

The Best Foods for Insulin ResistanceWhole grains, such as spelt, oats, bulgur, whole wheat and barley, provide a variety of nutrients, including vitamins, minerals and soluble fiber. According to findings published in the “European Journal of Clinical Nutrition” in 2007, consumption of whole grains is associated with reduced risk for insulin resistance. Replace enriched breads, cereals, pasta, rice and snack foods with whole grain equivalents. Whole grain breads, long-grain brown rice, oats and snack foods featuring whole grain ingredients support healthy blood sugar management and overall physical health. Consume a variety of whole grains regularly to attain most benefits.

Here is the full article that helped inform this post: http://www.livestrong.com/article/74703-foods-insulin-resistance/

Carbs and I got back together this weekend…and now I am tired and wanting more!

This past weekend carbs and I definitely got back together. In a big way. One of my best friends and her husband were visiting us in LA from Nor Cal, so we were constantly eating out and overindulging. We did get a great hike by the Hollywood sign in, but the weekend was filled with all you can eat brunches, mimosas, and late night pizza deliveries. While this was all fun and good at the time, I have been VERY tired this week and craving more carbs.

Confession: last night I got home much earlier than my husband and was starving. I had a healthy low carb lunch, but by the time I was home I wanted whatever I could get my hands on. Unfortunately for my PCOS and IR, leftover pizza won the no carb battle.

As I explore the challenges of this new lifestyle, it has been helping me to really understand the impact carbs have on my body. The more I know, the harder it is for me to get back together with carbs by staying strong in my decision for  us to break up.

Here is some of the info I found to help me stay strong and just say no to carbs:

Why are carbs making me tired?

Insulin resistance is a process in which the body is inefficient at managing sugars and starches you have eaten in your diet. When you eat a carbohydrate, such as a piece of bread or something sweet like ice cream, your body releases insulin from your pancreas to process that sugar. Without insulin, you would not be able to assimilate this sugar, called glucose, from your blood stream into your liver and muscles. In insulin resistance, your body makes too much insulin for the amount of carbohydrate consumed. This extra insulin is what causes so many of the listed problems, both functional problems (those which precede pathological), as well as pathological problems (those with tissue alterations.) Initially, the extra insulin often ends up processing sugar too rapidly and blood glucose levels are driven too low. This is called hypoglycemia or low blood sugar. This adds stress to the body and causes the production of other hormones (especially adrenal gland hormones like cortisol), which increase blood sugar levels. As CI gets worse, more and more insulin is needed to process a small amount of sugar. The insulin eventually becomes ineffective at driving the sugar into the cells where the nourishment is needed. The cells have become resistant to the insulin.

As CI is developing, the extra stress on the hormonal system, particularly to the adrenal glands, overworks these organs. This results in a complex pattern of symptoms that differ from person to person.

Symptoms of CI include but are not limited to sleepiness, drowsiness, lack of concentration, or a feeling of being bloated after a meal, especially one containing sweet foods or starches. Always feeling hungry or having weak legs or knees after eating is also a symptom of CI. These are just a few of the functional symptoms.

All of this explains why I have been so incredibly tired…especially the more carbs I eat.

Why does eating carbs cause me to want more carbs?

Sugary foods and drinks, white bread and other processed carbohydrates that are known to cause abrupt spikes and falls in blood sugar appear to stimulate parts of the brain involved in hunger, craving and reward, the new research shows. The findings, published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, suggest that these so-called high-glycemic foods influence the brain in a way that might drive some people to overeat.

For those who are particularly susceptible to these effects, avoiding refined carbohydrates might reduce urges and potentially help control weight, said Dr. David Ludwig, the lead author of the study and the director of the New Balance Foundation Obesity Prevention Center at Boston Children’s Hospital.

Also, research suggests that when blood sugar levels plummet, people have a tendency to seek out foods that can restore it quickly, and this may set up a cycle of overeating driven by high-glycemic foods, Dr. Ludwig said. “It makes sense that the brain would direct us to foods that would rescue blood sugar,” he said. “That’s a normal protective mechanism.”

Makes a lot of sense why I am wanting more carbs…my body thinks it is a reward and is wanting to restore low blood sugars when my levels plummet after they spike. I also have heard from a lot of other people that it is hard to change the mentality that a whole day or even week is wasted once you slip up on your diet. Have to take it a meal at a time…

Getting back on track:

Knowing all this, I am proud to say I made a healthy choice for lunch today:

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Greek salad with fresh feta and grilled chicken kabob. I especially love the garlic sauce many Mediterranean or Lebanese restaurants have. It is just garlic, lemon, olive oil, and ice!

Here are some great articles that helped inform this post: