Here we are, but not where we thought we would be 

Have you ever focused so much on taking a day at a time you don’t realize how many days have passed?

I started this blog over two years ago thinking that Pre-Diabetes and PCOS would be my biggest challenges – and they were not easy. Limiting what I eat, feeling jealous that others could eat whatever they want and not have concern…that was hard.

But the challenge has evolved. This evolution has kept me from writing because moving from a health struggle to an infertility struggle seems embarrassing and taboo. I have received guidance from some of my closest confidants to not share and just fight.

But I can’t. I am literally sitting in the back of a car with friends and family talking and I can’t engage. After choosing the wrong doctor with the wrong treatment for 5 months and now having to embrace more extreme fertility treatments – I feel overwhelmed. And isolated.

I know I am surrounded by love and support –  but truthfully no one knows what to say. To be honest, I can’t even articulate what I am going through as I work to balance the craziest combination of fear and hope.

So here I am again. Writing to you because you listen. You may be going through what I am or know someone who is. I am writing to you because you empathize. Because you  are a safe space.

While I worry about who knows me personally and is reading the start of a very raw and open testimony  I really think this platform is made for a place to articulate pain and get support.

So thank you. Thank you for reading and caring. Thank you for knowing every post on social media that seems perfect may be built on a foundation of struggles and pain. Thank you for being honest, open, and for withholding judgment. And thank you for allowing me to express myself.