#WeighInWednesday: Down 5 pounds from last week!

The nausea is not great. And the vomiting is even worse. And the breaking up with carbs is certainly the ABSOLUTE WORST.

But…

I am proud to say I am down 5 pounds from last week and am at the lowest weight I have been in years! I am down 27 pounds from this time last year! While all of the things I have been going through have been very tough, I have found that writing more frequently to YOU has made me stronger and more accountable.

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As I type this, I realize I was so hungry today I forgot to take a pic of my low carb lunch today for Instagram – but I have been posting a lot more of what I have been eating which has made me even more accountable.

I am sure you can agree…seeing results from working hard is the absolute best feeling. It keeps you motivated and helps you believe again in what you are doing. For me, I know that a drop on the scale means wonderful things for all my other levels which will make my Endocrinologist appointment next month that much more successful. This has been one hard journey with no end in sight, but as they say:

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Here is what I did well this week:

  • Food journaling – of all the things that have worked for staying low carb, the food journal has by far helped me have the most success. It has really helped me keep track of how I am doing and has really translated into results.
  • Delicious breakfast found – Since I have not been eating eggs for personal reasons and I need to stay low carb, I have been really struggling with breakfast options, especially on-the-go breakfast options. I started trying Luna Bars which keep me under my 30g of carbs/meal limit. They are delicious, good for being on-the-go, and low carb. I am pleased to say they help me kick-off my day the way a good breakfast should.
  • Stayed Low Carb, even when it was tough – Of course there were some exceptions with Halloween, but all in all I really watched what I ate and made low carb choices. I have found ways to splurge (like Popcorn or grapes), but splurging in ways that do not completely destroy my carb count for the day.

Here is what I can work on next week:

  • Exercise – a lot of this has to do with the fatigue and nausea I have had, but exercise just has not been happening. I have been trying to walk more around work (which is saying a lot – it is a big campus), but there is certainly room for improvement
  • Booze – While I have cut drinking out during the week for the most part, I really want to cut back on weekends too. As I get older, I have noticed many of my friends are transitioning from our binge drinking 20s to enjoy a nice glass of wine 30s. And there is nothing wrong with that. We are going to a wedding this weekend, so it will be interesting to see if I can keep this goal…but I will try!
  • Manage emotions – I had a bit of a breakdown at work this week…my first since starting this new job 6 months ago. This team is all about sharing frustrations, but I have always been more poker faced in the workplace. I think like most things, there is a happy medium…which I will be working hard to achieve. Like all workplaces, negativity can snowball very quickly, so it is important to me I don’t feed into any negativity around me and continue to identify myself as a positive person…no matter what.

So here is to positivity…and hard work…and being a bad @$$. Cheers to that.

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#MondayMotivation: Good start to the week after Halloween fun

Halloween weekend is certainly a TRICKy time for those of us counting carbs. My stomach has been pretty upset lately from RIPCupcakethe meds, so I did not really do any drinking this weekend, but I certainly got back together with carbs for a Halloween rendezvous. I don’t know about you, but I feel like if I do not let myself enjoy holidays when everyone else is, I go crazy. It is hard enough to order the salad when everyone else has pizza on a normal basis…so I give myself some breathing room for holidays. That being said, I had some chips, bread, fries, and did not go protein style with my turkey burger because…R.I.P DIET for this weekend. I will say that I tried to make healthier choices (i.e. wheat bun instead of white) and I also feel back in love with one of my favorite healthy snacks…red bell peppers with salt and pepper. SO good. SO healthy. All that being said, I certainly did not stick to 110g carbs per day. I am pretty sure a handful of fun sizes helped with that.

But now it is time to get back on track. And even though I am feeling especially irritable today (maybe it is just Monday, maybe it is meds, who really knows for sure…), I have been pretty good at staying on track. It is pushing 4pm and as I type I am snacking on cherry tomatoes and seeing that I am at 48g carbs. I said no to California Pizza Kitchen with co-workers. No to the Indian station in the cafeteria with rice and garlic naan bread. No to ALL the extra candy around the office. I am really trying to commit.

To top it off, I got a slow cooker done before going to work and will see if it is a good one tonight. Definitely staying low carb for this meal…and there is something about having dinner already done as I drove in for work that made me feel ready for anything.

So yes, I am irritable. Yes, I miss carbs. And yes, I really don’t know how I have been so good today. But I have been…and even though this lifestyle is overwhelming, I am living one moment at a time. And in this moment, these cherry tomatoes taste REAL GOOD.

Here’s to a good week!

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#WeighInWednesday: Rollercoaster Ride

giphyThis last week has been a roller coaster…and not in the fun way. I have been having the hardest time getting into my groove with medication and diet. Maybe it is the fact there are carbs EVERYWHERE at work. Maybe it is the fact Halloween candy is everywhere. Maybe I am feeling extra tired. So many possibilities…all of which lead to a pretty steady relationship with carbs lately. I have had days that have been SO good with what I eat and remembering my medicine. Then there are the days when on my drive into work I realize I forgot my meds. Or I decide I need to eat that Reese’s Peanut Butter cup. And the cracker snack pack. And the bagel. Consistency has definitely not been great for me in the last week.

Despite the roller coaster, I am not up any weight from last week. I am still 4 pounds away from my lowest weight and 22 pounds from my goal weight…but at least I did not gain from last week.

Here is what I did well last week:

  • FOOD JOURNALING – Since I have felt like my carb rendezvous have been quite intense, I have been writing down what I am eating again. I have found food journaling has really helped me get control
  • GOOD CHOICES – I have had a few meals where I have very decisively avoided carbs and chosen something healthier. Even though everyone around me is chowing down on mac and cheese…and fries…and (sigh) you get it.

Here are my opportunities for the coming week:

  • EXERCISE – I still have not found a groove with a workout schedule. I know how important it is…I have nothing more to say except I know I need to be like Nike and JUST DO IT.
  • CONSISTENCY – Most of my life, I have been all about focused bursts of productivity and lulls of…well…not productivity. As a general statement, I need to focus on my consistency – especially with my diet.
  • CHOOSING JOY – I don’t know about you, but in the world of social media, it is so easy to compare. I have been really trying to focus on my blessings and not comparing to others. I am going to work to continually choose joy…and make that choice with a grateful heart.

No matter if you are fighting PCOS, Diabetes, staying on a diet, or just trying to be a functional, productive human…there are ups and downs. It is crucial to understand that and give yourself some breathing room. On this crazy roller coaster, we can learn just as much on the lows if we choose to…so here is to learning and some smooth sailing once I get my groove back.
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Wednesday Weigh-In: Down 1 pound and working on feeling positive!

So it looks like food journaling has been the way to go…I am down 1 more pound this wtricianae_weighineek! I am still 1 pound away from my lowest I have been on this journey, but I have lost 4 pounds since my birthmonth weight gain!

Here are the things that I did well this week:

  • My food journal has definitely been holding me accountable. Food journaling has also shown me that I can still have some of the carbs I love, just in moderation.
  • I have been better about taking my meds regularly. I have noticed that not taking my meds was really causing my body to reset, so I am back to some nausea and vomiting side effects. I have stayed positive though…I know that I am getting healthier and I need to stay disciplined.
  • Overall, I have been working to have a more positive outlook. It can be so easy to be caught up in negativity whether it be at work, around friends, or even from our own health. I have made it a goal to stay positive and stay thankful.

positive-3Here are my goals for next week:

  • NO more excuses…I need to workout. I had a dentist appointment early this morning which proved to myself I can in fact get out of bed when I need to. It is time to make my workout a priority.
  • Keep food journaling. It is working really well, so I need to keep it going.
  • Keep the positivity going. Even if that means distancing myself from people and situations that do not make me feel happy or positive.

As I continue along my experiences, it is so clear to me that I really can be happy and healthy as long as I keep taking control of my life. I have the power to choose happiness…so why choose anything else?

Wednesday Weigh-In: Down 3 pounds!

So as it turns out, food journaling helps. A LOT.

Even though I had a family vacation this weekend and enjoyed more carbs than usual, I still tried to be mindful of what I ate and drank. I have also been sticking to the food journal all week so far. The nice thing about food journaling is I can still have carb splurges, but I am mindful of how big they are and how they impact my carbs for the day.

This morning was a great example of how carbs and I had a brief rendezvous, but didn’t fully commit. Around my office, there are a lot of celebrations. Not the once a month lump all the birthdays together…but a celebration for EVERY birthday, milestones, farewell, you name it. This morning was a farewell…with bagels. Sitting around the table feeling hungry and watching everyone eat carbs, I was dying. So I used my handy dandy “Calorie King” app and realized if I had half a bagel, I would be within my normal 30g of carb/meal allotment. This allowed me to eat, be included, and not break the carb bank. SUCCESS.

All of this seems to be working as I am down 3 pounds form last week! I am still working off my birthMONTH weight, but am only 2 pounds away from where I was at my lowest weight before birthMONTH. Even with the small gain, I am still down 22 pounds from September 2014. I am hoping this momentum will keep me moving in the right direction.

So I guess carbs in moderation is kind of like friends with benefits status…we aren’t fully committed, but we enjoy some great perks of a relationship. Sometimes.

BirthMONTH weight gain is a thing…but here is how I am bouncing back

In my family, it is not a birthDAY. It is a birthMonth. Between family in different cities, cob3656cf7a880f148fe32701c852e025fa7fb1088882c59b826ad08b122dae222_1nflicts with work schedules, and the fact that we love a good celebration…festivities absolutely extend over several days, weeks, the month…whatever.

As we all know, a good celebration calls for a good carb or ten. Carbs and I definitely got back together and while I want to say I regret it, it was a glorious rendezvous. Sushi, pasta, sangria, cupcakes, cookies, fried chicken, french fries, bread…all of it. So. Good.

But then there is the whole consequence thing which is this case is 5 pounds I gained back. While this is less than stellar, I am surprisingly feeling OK about it.

Here is why I am OK with the weight gain during my birthMONTH and what I plan to do to get back on track.

My birthday was amazing. Maybe the best ever.

IMG_2569On my actual birthday, I got to go on a work day trip and was surprised with birthday treats during an important meeting. My husband spoiled me with my favorite restaurant, champagne, and a bag I have had my eye on. My birthday party was at a beautiful outdoor venue and I was surrounded by amazing friends including one of my best friends who came all the way from
Alaska to surprise me. Some of my friends I haven’t seen in a while told me how great I look from my 20 pound weight loss. Basically, I had a lot of reasons to smile. I looked great, I felt great, and really was counting my blessings for the progress I have made and the wonderful people I have in my life.

Now while that sounds all rosy and wonderful and I have a good snapshot I shared, the truth is that I was eating carbs like it was the zombie apocalypse. I really did not discriminate with any carbs and even a week after my actual birthday, I was still doing the same thing.

The truth of the matter is, it is time to get back on track. They say the first step is admitting the problem, and the problem is carbs. It is definitely time for us to breakup again.

Here is my plan to get back on track:

Since our work cafeteria is closed, we have food trucks coming to our campus every day. You know…pizza, tacos, tater tots, grilled cheese. It is basically as if carbs was sending me 2 dozen roses everyday and begging me to get back together. But this cannot be.

Planning ahead seems to be the best way to battle carbs. We will be out of town this weekend, so meal planning will be more challenging. But we will find a way! My husband has also gained a lot of weight…mostly because when my appetite was down from the meds he was eating what I wasn’t and as a true partner, he fully indulged in my birthmonth as well.

To help us both, we have been good about getting in our 20 minute exercise prescribed by the doc each night with evening walks. It has been good for our relationship and great for our health.

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I also just started a food journal today to really count my carbs to keep me aligned with my 110g/day goals. I have food journaled before and I have found it really helps with accountability. Not only do I plan to keep track of the number of carbs I eat, but I also plan to keep track of taking my meds. I have found as things get busier and busier, I have been worse about taking the meds I need to survive. I figure that if I take the time out of the day to commit to this, it will make me pay more attention and not be swayed by the delicious smell of food trucks or office bagels.

I also am planning to write more! I kept making excuses, but truthfully, sharing my journey with you all made me more accountable and ultimately healthier. I also sincerely hope this helps others in similar situations or just looking to be healthier get to their goals.

Here’s to a fresh start. Again.

Weigh-in Wednesday: Down 24 Pounds!

imagesIt is pretty amazing how much progress I have made…since last August, I am down 24 pounds and all of my levels were looking great at my last doctor appointment!

With all the drama and pain this has been to go through, I can’t begin to tell you how pleased I am to see results like these.

To be honest, the results do confuse me a little bit…carbs and I have TOTALLY been back together. In a big way. I do still have some nausea from my meds and don’t quite feel like myself, so I have been eating lots of carbs. I will admit I try to eat carbs that are better than others (like Rye instead of white bread), but I have had carbs with every meal. I was honestly shocked that I didn’t weigh more considering the 4th of July holiday. It seems so crazy to me that I have virtually been eating what I want (including half of a morning donut this morning) and losing weight. And now I am officially one of those jerks I used to hate that could eat what they want and not gain weight. It has been hard – my typical fish and veggie choice has sounded TERRIBLE and salads seem to make me sicker than carbs. So carbs it has been and likely will continue to be.

With this weird carb thing going on, here are my successes from the week and goals for next week:

Successes:

  • Been under control making some healthy decisions, especially with carb heavy meals (we even had brown rice pasta for our mac and cheese on the 4th of July!)
  • Quotes-on-success-List-of-top-35-success-quotes-20I have tried to get exercise in and did a 45 minute hike on the 4th with my husband and dogs. I have also been choosing the cafeteria that is farther from my office to get in a little more walking.
  • I was better about taking my meds this week. There were a couple of days I was really struggling, but I feel like I am getting a better groove.
  • I have been better about worrying less and thinking more positively. Sure, I wish there some things that were different in my life…but I am thankful for the things I do have that I have worked hard for.

Opportunities:

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  • Exercise has not been hitting my goal of 20 minutes a day. I really need to get up and get going.
  • I will be trying to re-introduce healthier eating into my life. Carbs and I just can’t stay together if I want to keep seeing the results I have been having.
  • Be consistent with my meds. The Endocrinologist said almost everything is back to normal…except that I am still ovulating every 2-3 weeks and losing some of my hair. He increased my Metformin, so hopefully within the next 3 months everything will be back on track. That being said, in the words of Fat Amy, “You should really listen to my doctor.”

So that’s that! Let’s see how I do…starting tomorrow? Definitely getting some pizza for dinner. Because. PIZZA.

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#WeighInWednesday: Down 3 pounds

Even though it has been pretty rough dealing with the nausea and vomiting caused by my medication, I am proud to say I am down 3 pounds this week! I am down 8 pounds in the past month since last visiting my Endocrinologist and being focused on doing all I can to reduce the amount of medication I am needing to take.

Things I did well this week:

  • Since dealing with the medication side effects, I have been drinking significantly less. Not only has this made me feel better, but I believe it is a big contributor to the weight loss
  • It has been a goal to get back on track with exercising and I am proud to say I got in 4 workouts in the past week – mostly walks or hikes with the dogs. It has been very peaceful to be outdoors and has also been a great workout
  • Medication has been a challenge for me because quite frankly, I get tired of 8 pills a day and 1 shot per week. Before my last appointment, I had decided to skip doses because I was simply exhausted from taking so much medicine. This past week, no matter how tired I was, I stuck to my medication. It has not been fun, but I know how important it is. My doctor put it into pretty hard to ignore terms for me…he said, “Either don’t take your medication and live to your 50th birthday, or take your medication and live to your 90th birthday.” I choose 90, thank you.
  • Even though I vomited nearly every day, I stayed active and positive. I understand the nausea and vomiting are side effects that I need to deal with for now, but I have refused to let them stifle my time or activities with friends. There have been some really hard days where it was clear to those around me I wasn’t feeling great, but I am proud of myself for getting up and getting out instead of wallowing in bed.

Opportunities for improvement:

  • Since dealing with being sick, I have been downing saltine crackers like it was my job. A lot of days, this is all my body can take after the medication along with Sprite (at least it is Sprite Zero with less sugar). I do not eat much meat, but my typical fish that I would order to stay low carb has not been appetizing to me at all. With meat not really being an option, I have eaten more carbs than I should like Pad Thai noodles, corn tortillas, or egg rolls. I definitely want to be patient with myself, especially since weight is still coming off…I just know these carbs are not the best for me and make it hard to stick to 110g of carbs/day that my doctor prescribed.

Goals for next week:

  • Next week, I start a new job! I am very exciting for this opportunity…it really is a dream come true for me. While at the new job, I want to be sure to get up and workout…starting this new chapter the right way with the 20 minutes of exercise my doctor prescribed.
  • Stay positive – I tend to worry about things I should not and as I start this new role, I want to be as positive and upbeat as possible. No matter how I feel or what may creep into my mind, I will be confident and positive.
  • Stay on track with my 110g of carbs a day goal. This will be hard because I am going to a music festival this weekend, but I will definitely try. The same goes for my medication.

How did you do this weigh-in Wednesday?

Health update: Scared, but resilient

jour·ney
noun
an act of traveling from one place to another.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have developed false faith that I was better. I convinced myself that December’s visit to the Endocrinologist was so good, that I could get back together with carbs on a regular basis. I have been evolving my diet the way I have in the past…after months of being good, I believed I was on the right track and could afford eating the way so many people around me do indulging in carbs on a regular basis.

I was wrong. Very wrong.

This morning’s appointment was eye opening. When I started this journey back in November, my testosterone level was at 90. The healthy rating for a woman is 30. If I did not get treated, I was on a path to have heart failure. In the next decade. After starting this blog and staying very disciplined in my carb breakup, I got my testosterone level down to 53. This gave me false comfort to allow carbs to creep back into my life…first, when I was stressed. Then, on the weekends. And ultimately, whenever I felt like it. My testosterone level was at 56.

My Endocrinologist is one of the kindest, most talented people I have ever met. Today’s appointment would have been terrifying if it wasn’t for his sense of humor, open dialog, and genuine concern he has for me and all of his patients. Even with his skill and kindness, today was still a very scary wake up call.

I shared with Dr. Marcus that I have been exhausted. I was exhausted from staying on the diet and feeling so limited. Exhausted from taking so many pills every night. I admitted that I have not stuck to 110g of carbs today, had not been regularly exercising 20 minutes a day, and even have been skipping medication on days I am over taking pills. Admitting all of this to him was obviously imperative for him to help course correct, but more importantly, it caused me to be honest with myself.

In addition to staying on track with my carb breakup, Dr. Marcus made the following adjustments to treat my Insulin Resistance and PCOS. Every case is different, but here is how we are approaching my journey to health:

Increased Metformin from 500mg to 2000mg. I am not happy to take 4 times as many pills. (larger pills are available, I am just not a strong pill taker). I have read various posts from many of you about Metformin side effects which had not really been bad for me before. I will be interested to see how side effects progress with this higher dosage.

strong>Exercising 20 minutes a day is imperative. Time to look back at my tips to wakeup in the morning and exercise. The epic battle with the snooze button will continue.

Now for the newest and for me, the scariest change. Once a week, I will now need to give myself an injection. For those of you that have been following my journey, you know that I am terrified with needles which is why the Glucose Tolerance Test was so difficult for me. Each week I will be injecting myself with Tanzeum. My doctor was very open to discussing this medication and we decided it would be the best thing for expediting a cure for my PCOS and Insulin Resistance. I will admit that when he mentioned this, I hit the cap on holding in my emotions. It was hard enough to hear that if I did not get my diet and health in order, I would likely not make it to my 50th birthday in 20 years. Then learning that my results needed pushing and it was time to introduce injections…I lost it in his office. He kindly listened and coached me through how to use this prescription. I was shaking in fear to give myself my first shot…but I did it. I really did. I feel braver and stronger for being able to do this. As much as I hate needles, I will do whatever it takes to be healthy again. For those of you interested in learning more about this prescription, check out this

Thursday Progress: No change on the scale, but changing my attitude.

Starting this blog has been one of the best decisions I have made in a while.

I have felt so supported by so many of you. Thank you for your words of encouragement, hope, and care. This community has really reminded me how wonderful it is to connect with people all over the world that are sharing in your experiences. Even though the last few weeks have been harder than usual, sharing and connecting with all of you has made me feel more motivated than ever.

This morning’s weigh in was steady with last week. It is definitely not the number I want to be at although I am pleased that I have not gained more weight since last week, especially considering carbs and I were on again/off again this week.

I have my check-in appointment with my Endocrinologist next week, so I know I need to get back to taking control of my life. If you have been following my blog, you know I am TERRIBLE with needles, so whenever I need to go to my Endo and have bloodwork done, I am less than pleased. All that being said, I think being back in the lab and having to go through a blood withdraw may be the wake up call that I need that I do not have the luxury of choosing when I feel like following my diet. If I don’t make improvements, I will only get heavier and sicker.

Successes this week: 

  • While I had a couple meals of weakness, overall I was better about making low carb choices. My husband and I found a new spot that does amazing chicken wings in 3 different sauces for Happy Hour…I will keep trying to find new treats like that to indulge in
  • There was a nice success at work this week that helped me feel motivated to get back on track. If I want to be my best self in all facets, it really starts with a healthy body and taking better care of myself.

Opportunities for next week:

  • Get back to treating my conditions more seriously and sticking to more disciplined low carb diets. It really is such a rabbit hole if you let yourself go and eat with no care or concern. I need to remember this is a lifestyle I must accept and treat it as so.
  • Exercise. But seriously. I know this is something my Endo will bring up next week…at minimum I should try to start the week right so I can let him know I am trying to get workouts in.
  • Take better care of everything around me and not give in to feeling tired. If I take better care of me, I know it will help me be a better wife, friend, and worker.
  • Stay positive. So many of the things I worry about never even happen. I need to have faith and stay thankful for all the blessings I do have. Dwelling in negativity is helping me or anyone around me.

Definitely a week with more opportunities than successes…but I do feel focused and ready to take back control of my health and life.

Dear Carbs – you are great, but seriously back off. I am walking away as much as I love you so I can be happier and healthier. It would be great if you could keep your distance and let me get stronger. xo Me