Here we are, but not where we thought we would be 

Have you ever focused so much on taking a day at a time you don’t realize how many days have passed?

I started this blog over two years ago thinking that Pre-Diabetes and PCOS would be my biggest challenges – and they were not easy. Limiting what I eat, feeling jealous that others could eat whatever they want and not have concern…that was hard.

But the challenge has evolved. This evolution has kept me from writing because moving from a health struggle to an infertility struggle seems embarrassing and taboo. I have received guidance from some of my closest confidants to not share and just fight.

But I can’t. I am literally sitting in the back of a car with friends and family talking and I can’t engage. After choosing the wrong doctor with the wrong treatment for 5 months and now having to embrace more extreme fertility treatments – I feel overwhelmed. And isolated.

I know I am surrounded by love and support –  but truthfully no one knows what to say. To be honest, I can’t even articulate what I am going through as I work to balance the craziest combination of fear and hope.

So here I am again. Writing to you because you listen. You may be going through what I am or know someone who is. I am writing to you because you empathize. Because you  are a safe space.

While I worry about who knows me personally and is reading the start of a very raw and open testimony  I really think this platform is made for a place to articulate pain and get support.

So thank you. Thank you for reading and caring. Thank you for knowing every post on social media that seems perfect may be built on a foundation of struggles and pain. Thank you for being honest, open, and for withholding judgment. And thank you for allowing me to express myself.

4 thoughts on “Here we are, but not where we thought we would be 

  1. I wondered what happened to you ? So sorry to hear everything you are going through .. sometimes the stress of wanting a child and dealing with the diabetes can create even more stress and stress creates other issues .. when you try to conceive are your sugars stable ?do you have PCOS in both or one ovary ? Don’t give up …I hear many stories where people can’t conceive then after their treatment and when they stop trying it can happen naturally .. don’t be hard on yourself .. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for the care and kind words. I am balancing keeping my carbs/sugar low to prevent diabetes while exploring fertility options. A lot to manage and hard to handle – but so thankful for support of this community and hope everything will work out. Wishing good things for you and thank you again for the support…it means the world.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. All I know is i needed to keep my sugar readings low to conceive otherwise I had miscarriages , so it was important to have Metformin or an injection to help with insulin resistance … sometimes food makes no difference as the body still can’t break down the carbs ..PCOS and insulin resistance go hand in hand ..❤️

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  3. Hey, I just came across your blog and I’m sorry to welcome you into the infertility club which no body ever wants to join! I remember when my blog changed from being about my adventures as an Irish person living in Germany and now I mainly write about all my IVF treatments! It was hard at first, I felt very exposed writing about this very personal and hard topic but people have generally been very supportive and through blogging I’ve come across a wonderful community of strong women going through infertility too and made friends with people who get it which has been great! Good luck to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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